Maybe you remember my Spleen piece where I took aim at Sprint. If you haven’t seen it, please take a look. It will give you some background so my current state of mind might seem a little less, er, unhinged.

OK. All caught up? So today I get another friendly reminder my Sprint payment is late. I go to the payment page of the now-functioning (or so it would initially seem) Sprint.com. I enter my digits, billing zip code, yadda yadda, press “continue.” The site opens another payment form like nothing ever happened. I check my checking account. No funds taken out. So I’m not sure if the payment’s gone through or not. And you DO remember my Dante analogy for the phone queue. And then once you’ve made it into the pit to a phone operator…well, as it goes, “Abandon all hope…” To be fair, I’ve spoken with some adept associates at Sprint. But given the bulk of my experience, the odds are against me.

I notice a handy-dandy “chat” icon on the top of the billing page. I click it. I get this:

I don’t panic.

After my last little foray into online Sprint activism, I got connected with a guy at the company who may actually have some pull. Rich pesce seems to manage social media for the company, and he managed to talk me down from that little ledge.

Unfortunately, it seems, the Co-Tweeter at the switch needs some: common sense, empowerment, training, or some combination thereof – all the things anyone at a company’s front line needs. This is your face, people! Invest a little in that. AND, it seems, not much gets done without Mr. Pesce’s Twitter handle in the tweet.

For your amusement, ladies and gentlemen, I present the transcript of today’s little Tweet exchange. I don’t think I can editorialize further. This just has to be seen to be believed.

SC: @sprintcare just got a msg inside the pmt area of site that live chat is not available. Then I see hrs of op., which incl. now. What gives?
Sprint: @SaraComito dunno, maybe the chat is down for a bit. anything I can help with?
SC: @sprintcare Wow, quite an answer. @rpesce you see the service I’m getting here? How about “Let’s see if I can find some info for you?”
Sprint: @SaraComito I can try to help you answer any questions that you may have. thanks for reporting the chat issue
SC: Think it’s time to write another blog post about customer service and @sprintcare or just an addendum to my last one. It’s becoming a saga.
Sprint: @SaraComito I am here to help you, if you have a question that I can answer, I’m more than happy to answer it for you.
SC: @sprintcare Way to go back to the script there, buddy.
Sprint: @SaraComito No script, just trying to help. I’ve reported the chat issue to our web group. thanks for letting us know about it
SC: And for anyone who hasn’t seen it, here’s my last fail blog post
SC: @sprintcare OK – again! Why is chat down during a time it’s supposed to be up? Another service you’re supposed to offer that you don’t
Sprint: @SaraComito unfortunately, I don’t have an answer on why its not up. I reported it. However, I am here to help you
SC: Anybody here ever work in customer service? Would you ever tell a customer “dunno?” Heads would roll!
Sprint: @SaraComito I apologize if you were offended by my response. Twitter is limited in characters and is typically more casual in nature.
SC: @SaraComito Regrettably, I do not have an answer to why that particular part of our site is currently not functioning properly; however,
Sprint: @SaraComito however, if you have a question about your bill or anything that we can answer, we are more than happy to assist.
SC: @sprintcare THAT is the right response (for those watching, this is the question) http://twitter.com/SaraComito/status/14305133214

Discussion:

Does the 140-word constraint preclude an adherence to solid customer service protocol?
How do customer service values get transmuted to the folks involved with direct community administration?
How do social media strategists hand down policy in accordance with those values?
Have you ever worked in customer service? How long would you have had your job if you had told a customer “dunno?”
What protocol does your company have in place to deal with someone like me? The social media crisis triage (slide #20) in this wonderful presentation by the folks at Altimeter is a great illustration of exactly that.

My son is 9. He invents new ways to augment the assault capabilities of his Nerf dart gun. This enterprise often involves trip wires and remote triggering mechanisms, as well as machine gun hide build-outs from his bunk bed ladder. Sometimes his ideas overshadow his ability to fashion a working prototype. He gets frustrated.

At least he was never shot down (forgive the pun) by the makers of his Nerf launcher. I’m not sure any number of “Edison didn’t always get it right the first time” speeches would fix the type of hurt like that levied on 8-year-old Harry Windsor, who sent an inspired crayon rendering of a new airplane design to Boeing Corporation, replete with firing capabilities.

Boeing responded with a form letter explaining why the company will not accept unsolicited design submissions. Windsor’s dad, a savvy new media-embracing ad man, responded the way the company should have – with a human touch, and a healthy dose of Twitter shame.

Boeing did acknowledge – through their own fledgling social media presence – that their human touch could itself use a little engineering.

Read the story from yesterday’s New York Times.

Is Twitter the cure for the common scrooge? What do you think?

…and how you can too (and why you should)

When the phone calls and email don’t work, take it to twitter – a lot. Lather rinse repeat. Fan the company on Facebook and decorate their wall with your discontent. Wait for the phone to ring.

I’ll be getting my Weezer Snuggie in the mail in a couple of days absolutely fuh-ree.  Just what everyone needs in Florida in the summer – a blanket with sleeves.

OK, it’s a silly indulgence. It’s not a matter of life and death. But it was meant as a light-hearted gift for my Weezer-loving husband for Christmas. I received the message from the merchandising company the item was on backorder. I was given a reasonable timeframe for order fulfillment that would get the thing here by Christmas.

When that didn’t happen, I didn’t fret. Our anniversary was coming up. That came and went, then his birthday, then I ran out of occasions – and patience. Of course, during this time I made contact with the company.

I was told I could cancel the order. That pissed me off. So I took it to the streets, as they say.

The person handling their Twitter account feigned shock and horror at my predicament and promised a customer service representative would be in touch. Cue tumbleweeds.

I thought I’d wear them down with tweet frequency. This only seemed to bring down the signal to noise ratio, and the company tweeter didn’t reply anymore.

I don’t like to get nasty. I really don’t. But a consumer has to have a reasonable expectation their money is worth something to the company on the receiving end of it.

Snuggie be damned. This was about principle now.

So I did the thing that finally worked. I became a fan on their Facebook page. That’s right. A fan, although I couldn’t have been less than a fan. This gave me carte blanche to post anything my little heart desired all over their wall.

I said something like yeah, you’re a rock and roll shop. But you can’t expect your clientele to be so stoned they don’t recognized when they’re getting dicked around.

Long story short, a representative called me and explained about some problem with PayPal payments not going through on their backorders. I dunno. Sounds like it’s not really my concern. And it sounds like something they should have aware of months before and contacted me about it promptly.

What I do know is he offered to send my order immediately – and without cost. I couldn’t have been more thrilled than if Weezer had showed up on my front lawn for an afternoon jam. Well, maybe that’s a stretch. Truth was, I felt a mix of vindication and sheepishness. I was raised to be nice, and I shy away from confrontation. Don’t believe me? It’s true. But I also demand a certain respect as a consumer. And you should, too.

Companies: Do not let your relationship management get to the point where your customers try to talk others out of using your services. And with the instant-response mechanisms offered by social media at the hands of anyone competent enough to click a mouse, do not underestimate your customers’ complaint prowess.

Consumers: You’re in charge of the transaction. It’s your hard-earned money. I don’t care if it’s a blanket with sleeves or a Nick Cave doll. If you want it you want it, and you want it like, right now. Use the tools so easily at your disposal.

Just like Mia did:

Just like Dawn did:

Just like all these other people did. Are you paying attention, Sprint? Hmmm? Are you?

Have you brought your customer service issues to the Internet? We want details! In the comments, please.

OK, so this is only really the second in this occasional series. See Number 13: Forgiveness for the first. You’ll notice the irony in the sequence here in a moment.

Whoops, indeed!

I learned a lot from my dad. He built a successful business from scratch with a lot of hard work, long hours, and a boatload of invaluable assistance from my patient, T-crossing mom.  His business delivered a quality product, uncompromising after-sale service and an honest deal every time. However, he also had been blessed with an innate sense of marketing psychology. He bought a small pickup truck and had it stenciled with the company name. He then had the number 11 painted on the side.  He knew he needed his company to seem bigger, more-established, than it was.

Sprint could learn from him, too. Of course, they are a big company. A really big one. As such, they need to take extra care to look like they have their duckies in a row lest they find themselves in the midst of a colossal PR disaster. Like the one they find themselves in this week.

I’ve alluded before to the “the medium is the message” wisdom that’s ingrained into every aspiring advertising writer. If you want to look like a professional company, your advertising medium can’t be tacky, poorly executed, cluttered or insult the reader. Shouldn’t that be the case with the company’s product?

Sprint is a communications company. Their corporate communications platforms should embody a commitment to service, quality and – one would think – uptime.

Since Sunday, it seems, Sprint’s Web site has been down while their IT department busily toils away at an update  ostensibly designed to improve customer service and communication. It’s now Wednesday morning. And the site is STILL DOWN.

I had a little temper tantrum, and tweeted two messages in a row expressing my disdain. The reason I knew about the outage is I received a payment due notice by email. Evidently, collections activity at the company is functioning without a glitch. And I understand a Web outpost has been erected to facilitate new customer sales.

However, my favored method of payment is not working. Do you think Sprint will mind if I wait until their site is up and running and I can take care of the small matter of the fee? Of course, I can always call. However, actually calling Sprint, and talking to one of those associates after navigating the phone queue – well, have you read any Dante?

After years of working his business, my dad eventually didn’t need to try to look bigger, because he was – and on his own merits. Sprint could try to act a little smaller in this case.  Such huberis, Sprint, to not care for every detail of your update and effectively alienate your established customer base!

By the way, my third tweet was an invitation to other cell phone companies that could craft a comparable service plan and buy out the Sprint contract. We’ll see what comes of it. If nothing else, social media offers a therapeutic opportunity to complain about being stepped on by the big guys. I don’t know if the big guys are listening to the little guys – but they should.

Got some spleen of your own to vent? I invite you to do so in the comments. Enjoy!

Everyone has heard all about the huge amounts of people self-proclaiming themselves as “Social Media Gurus” over the past few years.
And I bet everyone has met one of these people in real life too.

Almost without exception, these “gurus” are clueless, unimpressive self-promoters who have grabbed on to the latest thing that they think will get them some attention, respect and acclaim.
So many people added this title to their twitter profiles, in 2009, that it became hard to find someone without the word “guru”.
This fairly recent post from BL Ochman talks about the number of people still doing this. You can go to tweepsearch.com and confirm this for yourself too.

It is all so sad and it has created a situation that the word “guru” has lost the reverence that it once had.
The definition of the word shows it was once an honorable title. But no longer. It now draws ridicule, mistrust and scorn in the western world and online.

The odd thing is that a majority of these so called “gurus” have chosen this title for themselves.
This is the reason it has lost it’s former meaning, as the title is one that needs to be placed on you by others, who value your worth and the contribution you can make.

Because these titles were self-bestowed, the wielders of this awesome new rank often made some fantastically stupid mistakes due to their own lack of knowledge. For a great list of some of these, check out this post from mashable

Thankfully, rise of the social media gurus seems to have reached its peak, because there’s a new, contrary, position gaining momentum. It’s the “who the hell are these people to call themselves experts” movement. Posts like this one and this reflect that sentiment.

But the term is forever tarnished, in my opinion.
That’s OK though, because I like the word “sensei” better anyway.

The wizards are still behind the curtain. Since I first posted this piece I saw a post from a gentleman indicating he had received – yes – 42 direct messages from a “Diamond” Deb Yoerg. She and her husband appear to have 4 active accounts: @richanddebyoerg @DebbieYoerg @trumpdiamonddeb and @RichardYoerg. I’ve blocked them as followers, and I recommend you do the same.

Who is your choice for most notorious spammer? Comment below with Twitter username and any other helpful info. Thanks!

So today I got on my Twitter account and discovered this barrage of direct messages from @richanddebyoerg. Mind you, my snip tool won’t let me scroll to capture, so this is only a sampling. The product seems to be part of that new Trump MLM. Nothing against MLMs, but everyone needs to be held to certain standards in their marketing.

So I did the usual things. I called them out in an update. This only instigated an auto mention, implicating my username. I reported them @spam. I tweeted out: “Is there a day for publicly shaming spammers?” like #FollowFriday, but the opposite. Then I figured, carpe diem. I went to the offender’s web site and was tickled to see a “report spam” option on their tool bar. I clicked it and realized it was to report spam activities by the company’s affiliates. Undaunted, I used my Twitter handle instead of an email – and unleashed my ire.*

And I was treated to a confirmation

Of course, I’m not satisfied to wait for someone of this caliber to take heart. So I’m taking my little snake oil show on the road.

Nobody minds anyone trying to monetize Twitter. Heck, we all need to eat. But have a little class, and a little common sense. It’s about conversations first. Establish your reputation and your credibility, then we might look at your wares.

In the meantime, spammers beware. And go “sell crazy someplace else; we’re all stocked up here.” **

* Text of that spam report: I’d like to report YOUR OWN spam! Take control of your auto mentions and dm’s. This is a very good way to drive away business and get yourself blacklisted. I’m spreading the word about you. This is not the spirit of social media. Take a class. Get a clue.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Internet_vigilantism

** http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0119822/quotes